A Teenage Girl and a Terrorist
by Miss Cullen -I wish
Summary: A teenage girl with possible mental disorders somehow ends up in V's world around noon the day he saves Evey from the Fingermen. What will happen to V's small shred of sanity when she brings frozen food, non-jazz music, and Avenue Q into his home? VEV
1. Prologue

**5/27/12: I'm in the process of going through this story and fixing any errors. That also means I'm fixing my quick-fix of the first few chapters.**

* * *

It was a school night in my little hickville town and there was no one home but myself. I could only entertain myself for so long before I _needed_ to get out. Slipping on a hoodie so I wouldn't freeze and grabbing my iPod, I decided to take a walk around my town. Nothing ever changed here, the same little houses with the same people day after day. I know everyone here at least by sight.

_"The search has begun, this is page one.  
Man, meet your maker, I give you The Author."_

As I usually did, I ended up on the old rusty swing set in the deserted park that had once been the old town high school. That was back before the county brought everyone together into one school, when my grandmother was in high school. Shivering as a cold blast cut through my hoodie, I hunched in around myself. It was getting late and the sun was nearly gone. Really, I should leave now.

I was almost to the road when I heard a loud scraping behind me._ Odd, what's that?_ Despite the fact that the only light was the moon and I was in the worst area of my town, I walked carefully across the park toward the gym which was the only part of the school still standing. Across from a side door into the gym had once been the underground cafeteria, which was long since closed up. At first I didn't notice anything odd and was about to walk away when it finally hit me what I was seeing. The cement stairs that blocked the entrance to the cafeteria had been ripped from the wall and were now sitting on the grass a full four feet up.

A small opening was visible and my curiosity got the better of me. Despite my natural clumsy-ness and the chance of a cave in, I crawled through and made my way down the stairwell. I had expected to see a few tables and chairs lying about, maybe a lunch tray dropped at some point but none of this greeted me. Instead all I saw was a long tunnel littered with huge rocks and a few mice scurrying about.

Something was very off. I spun around as I heard footsteps behind me, scrambling to come up with an excuse for why I was down there. My hastily formed excuse flew out the window as I realized the stairs I'd descended a moment ago where nowhere in sight. The footsteps, however, hadn't disappeared. If anything they'd gotten closer.

I shrunk back against the wall, trying desperately to blend in. A tall shadow, darker than those around it, turned the corner near me and I pressed even farther into the wall. A white grinning mask floated about head level.


	2. V, Meet Your Biggest Fan

"Sweet jesus. . ." I whispered to myself "it's _him_!"

The man slipped into the shadows, becoming one himself. I secretly envied him; I had tried that once and failed miserably, even while wearing all black with my face covered. I was going to have to have him teach me. _That is,_ I thought to myself as I felt a sharp blade against my throat _assuming I survive._

"You know, I'm only a teen. You can loosen up on the knife-to-throat-ness."

The knife disappeared and he stepped in front of me. Even though his hands were under the cloak, I knew he still held the knife.

"Who are you?"

"Who? Who is but the form following the function of what, and _what_ I am is an American teen."

"How did you get past the Quarantine zone?" He asked curiously

"Quarantine. . .?" My brows furrowed in confusion "Oh! Same way I got to England I suppose."

"And how was that?"

"Uh. . .rather not say. You would never believe me. Let's just say 'divine forces' did it."

He nodded slightly and made a move toward me, to eliminate the witness I guess. I threw my arm up as he moved slightly. The blade I knew he held sliced the side of my forearm wide open, thankfully, instead of my throat. _Bloody hell._ I grabbed my arm out of instinct and shot him an annoyed look.

"Seriously, was that necessary? Christ."

I took off down the tunnel, the way he had came. I felt him following me as I scanned the walls looking for anything that seemed a bit out of the ordinary. Coming to a dead end, I knew I had reached the entrance but just to _find_ it. It had to have been at the dead end, that way alarms wouldn't be going off when something passed by. Made sense to me. Oh, where was a Hufflepuff when you needed one?

My clumsiness kicked in as I tripped over my own foot and fell against the wall. I squeaked when the wall under me fell back to reveal the door. Huh. Who would've thought my tripping would be a good thing? I pulled the door open and looked around cautiously. He hadn't done anything yet, which disturbed me. I set off in a random direction in search of the bathroom to wash out the slice on my arm.

"Yeeeeeooooowww!"

The alcohol bit as I poured it over my forearm. I whimpered to keep from screaming more. _Oh god, this hurts worse than when I broke my foot._

"At least then I was in shock."

"I beg your pardon?"

My head whipped around at the sound of his voice in the doorway. I hadn't realized I'd spoken aloud.

"Um, I was thinking to myself how this" I indicated my arm "hurts worse than when I broke my foot. I was in shock for hours afterward."

He stepped over, taking the bandage I'd been attempting to put on my arm. I studied him as he expertly wrapped it and covered it in gauze. Why was he doing this? Why hadn't he just killed me already. I was standing in his home, bleeding in his sink, caring for a wound he caused. It didn't make sense.

"Why are you doing this? Why didn't you just kill me?"

"Because" He finished what he was doing and stepped back "I have a feeling that would be a very bad idea."

I flashed him a cheeky grin.

"Wait a sec, weren't you going somewhere? What is it, the fourth?"

"Ah, yes. Right."

VEV

If it weren't for him leading the way, I would've been lost almost instantly in the London streets. I didn't know what had convinced him it would be a bad idea to kill me, but I was grateful for it. I'd take what I could get. My vantage point from behind him wasn't that bad, either. It was a fabulous view of him, I might just prefer it to anything else.

He stopped abruptly and I nearly ran into him. With a finger to his lips, he shushed me. I had to strain my neck to look up at him, feeling shorter than I was.

"Christ, how tall _are_ you? I think I'm going to call you The Black Giant."

He cuffed the side of my head lightly before motioning for me to shut up already. I got the hint, he didn't need to hit me. _Stupid jerk. Well, he'll just have to. . ._ I had no way to finish that thought, I didn't know much about the man in front of me.

He stepped around the corner and I made the wise decision to stay where I was. I heard him speaking to someone and a lot of scuffling but I didn't pay much attention. I tuned back in when I heard a woman's voice, perhaps he simply didn't want to hurt me because I was female. Hey, it was an idea.

"You may call me V."


	3. V Wants To Be Someone's Girlfriend!

"Evey? E-V. Of course you are"

_My god, it's Evey. _I darted around the corner, skidding to a halt in front of her. I don't think I even moved as I stared at her, amazed to finally meet V's love. She glanced from myself to V and back again.

"Um, who are you?"

"No one. No one at all. Ignore her." V turned to me and waved me away. "Get out of here."

"No." I glanced at him. "I'm not leaving. I have nowhere to go anyway."

V left out a half moan, half groan and strode off into the dark.

"Oooook then. Well, Miss Hammond do you like music? V is on his way to give a special performance and it would give me great pleasure if you would come with us."

"I'd better not."

"Oh, I promise you it will be like nothing you've ever seen. Afterwards he or I will return you home safely."

She thought a moment before nodding. "Alright."

V wasn't happy about Evey coming along, or that I was following him. As we climbed to the roof I thought back with a smile on what I had done in the Gallery. V had no idea, of course, that I had managed to slip onto one of his computers and edit the Bailey's demolition. The 1812 Overture was really outdated and he needed something a bit more. . .modern.

_Hey, hey! You, you!  
I don't like your girlfriend.  
No way, no way.  
I think you need a new one.  
Hey, hey! You, you!  
I could be your girlfriend._

When I said modern, I meant funnier.

_Hey, hey! You, you!  
I know that you like me,  
No way, no way.  
You know it's not a secret.  
Hey, hey! You, you!  
I want to be your girlfriend._

_You're so fine,  
I want you mine.  
You're so delicious,  
I think about ya all the time,  
You're so addictive.  
Don't you know what I could do to make you feel alright?  
Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious,  
And hell yeah,  
I'm the mother fucking princess  
I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right._

_She's like so whatever,  
And you could do so much better.  
I think we should get together now,  
And that's what everyone's talking about._

_Hey, hey! You, you!  
I don't like your girlfriend.  
No way, no way.  
I think you need a new one.  
Hey, hey! You, you!  
I could be your girlfriend._

I stood off to the side, minding my own business._ Who, me? Do this? Nooooooo. _V was staring dumbfounded (at least I thought he was) at the nearest speaker, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

_Hey, hey! You, you!  
I know that you like me,  
No way, no way.  
You know it's not a secret.  
Hey, hey! You, you!  
I want to be your girlfriend._

_I can see the way,  
I see the way you look at me.  
And even when you look away I know you think of me.  
I know you talk about me all the time again and again, (And again and again and again)  
So come over here, tell me what I want to hear.  
Better yet make your girlfriend disappear,  
I don't want to hear you say her name ever again.(And again and again and again!)_

_She's like so whatever,  
And you could do so much better.  
I think we should get together now,  
And that's what everyone's talking about._

_Hey, hey! You, you!  
I don't like your girlfriend.  
No way, no way.  
I think you need a new one.  
Hey, hey! You, you!  
I could be your girlfriend._

_Hey, hey! You, you!  
I know that you like me,  
No way, no way.  
You know it's not a secret.  
Hey, hey! You, you!  
I want to be your girlfriend._

The Old Bailey exploded in a barage of fireworks and I allowed myself a little chuckle.

_In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger,  
Cause I can,  
Cause I can do it better.  
There's no other,  
So when's it gonna sink in?  
She's so stupid,  
What the hell were you thinking?_

_In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger,  
Cause I can,  
Cause I can do it better.  
There's no other,  
So when's it gonna sink in?  
She's so stupid,  
What the hell were you thinking?_

_Hey, hey! You, you!  
I don't like your girlfriend.  
No way, no way.  
I think you need a new one.  
Hey, hey! You, you!  
I could be your girlfriend.  
No way, no way._

_Hey, hey! You, you!  
I know that you like me,  
No way, no way.  
You know it's not a secret.  
Hey, hey! You, you!  
I want to be your girlfriend.  
No way, no way._

_Hey, hey! You, you!  
I don't like your girlfriend.  
No way, no way.  
I think you need a new one.  
Hey, hey! You, you!  
I could be your girlfriend.  
No way, no way._

_Heeeeyyy!  
No waaayy!  
Heeeeyyy!_

_No way, no way.  
Hey, hey!_

"What was that?" Evey asked meekly.

"Avril Lavigne" I answered "And a _very_ fun song I might add."

V turned toward me and I could feel his glare freeze me right where I stood. I gulped. Perhaps that hadn't been a wise choice. It seemed like a very good idea at the time. V didn't trust me with getting Evey home safely, and came along with us. I was still smarting under V's disapproval, upset that he didn't find it in the least way entertaining. I resolved then and there to get him to laugh at some point, no matter what the cost to myself.

It was obvious Evey was uneasy with us, V mostly. She was constantly looking over her shoulder, for Fingerman probably. I started humming to myself as Evey gasped and V materialized before us. I leaned around him to see a group of four or five Fingerman before us.

"Ahhhh, good evening gentleman."


	4. In Which Lynette Gets Hyper

I reached up, standing on tip-toes, and covered Evey's eyes. V slaughtered the Fingermen easily and quickly, not even seeming to think about it. Evey gasped and I realized I hadn't been covering her eyes, but her mouth. I was that much shorter than her. _Well that just kills your buzz._

"You. . .you just killed them."

"I may have killed the men who attacked you, but I heard no objection." V said smoothly.

This wasn't supposed to happen until later, but ok.

"But. . .but. . ."

"Violance _can_ be used for good, Miss Hammond."

"Evey."

"Evey." V corrected himself.

I raised an eyebrow. Alright then, this was a bit strange. Since when did Evey kind of come on to V? _Really need to get her home, I think she's going into shock._

"Evey, if you'll continue leading the way, we will take you the rest of the way to your flat."

After finally getting Evey home safely, I wandered around the Gallery aimlessly. I stopped in front of the Wurlitzer, contemplating it carefully. _I'm doubting I'm dreaming anymore. Perhaps this is a fanfic by some demented teenage girl and-_

"Hey shut up!" A clearly annoyed voice boomed from the ceiling. "This is _my_ story. Do I need to put you into a comma for a while? I _will_ turn V into Viscount Raoul De Chagny from The Phantom of the Opera if needed! I won't like it though."

I gasped "Le gaspeth, don't do that! He'll be a _Fop_!"

"I said I wouldn't like it. Do you think I want a Fop in place of super-hot-terrorist-in-all-black-with-a-mask-and-a-piano-that-can-cook-way-better-than-Julie-Child? Ah, no."

I smiled slyly at the ceiling, and idea forming.

"What?"

"Is there anyway I can hook this to the jukebox?" I held up my iPod

"Do I look like a genius? Ask. . .oh, look! V's kinda scared!"

I looked over and sure enough, V was backed against the wall next to the door.

"Yes, it's very entertaining but you _are_ the Authoress, aren't you? Answer me."

"What? Sorry, shhhhhhhh can't shhhhhhhh hear you shhhhhhhh going through shhhhhhhh tunnel shhhhhhhh! Call back late-"

"Oh will you grow up?"

I was greeted by silence. Well, that is, if you ignored V messing with the door behind me, trying to get out of the Gallery.

"V," I sighed "what are you doing?"

"Leaving."

His tugging on the door frantically with a foot pressed against the wall bracing himself negated the statement. He wasn't going anywhere, he couldn't even get through the door.

"Must've locked it." He muttered as he stepped back.

"V, that door swings the other way." I said slowly. "What you're trying to do is like trying to force a cube into a circular hole."

"Oh." I swear the mask blushed a little.

"Where are you trying to go anyway?"

"Nowhere of consequence."

"The BTN. I should have known. Wait here. I mean it. Don't move."

I made my way toward Evey's room (well, what _would_ be Evey's room) but must have gone through the wrong door. My eyes widened at the sight that met me. _So _this_ is how V works through the night! _I grabbed the nearest can of Monster and forgot all about the BTN.

VEV

Apparently V got worried about me and came looking after I was gone for much longer than I should have been. I wouldn't know, I don't remember the rest of that day other than the following conversation I had with a voice in my head:

_OOOOOOH MMMMMMMY GOOOOOOD! I LOVE MONSTER!_

_I'm glad you do._

_WHOA! Who are you?_

_A voice. Moron._

_Don't be MEAN!_

_Lord, never drink Monster again._

_OOOOOOOHMIGAWD! __OOOOOOOHMIGAWD! __OOOOOOOHMIGAWD!_

_In fact, never be near it again. This is scary._

_I'm forgetting something, I knows I is. Voice-y-poo, what is I forgeterin?_

_Never call me that again._

_WHAT IS I FOR-GET-ER-IN?_

_Aren't you supposed to be going somewhere with V?_

(V filled me in on the rest of the details, and this is his account of them)

"CRAP! V, DON'T LEAVE WITHOUT ME!"

"How on Earth could I do that with you bellowing like that?" He said from the door. "The Gallery would be found in an instant."

I started jumping up and down in circles in front of V, apparently annoying him greatly.

"V! I've had like, ums, ums, ums, forty bagillion of these things and I just remembered how much I _friggin love these things_! People say I act drunk when I'm hyper but I just talk fast. See?"

"Are you always like this when you're hyper?"

I stopped suddenly, staring at him intently. "I have no idea."

"Well, if all you've done is become hyper I really think I shall have to postpone my leave for awhile."

"I'M GONNA SING THE DOOM SONG NOW!  
Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, _doom_, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, **doom**, do-do-doom!"

V smacked the light switch on the wall and I instantly stopped singing.

"Whoa." I said in amazement. "It's _dark_. Is this how everthing looks to you, V? You're always looking through those little black thingys over your eyes, which is stupid cause they're probably really pretty. Uh huh. Yep. Prolly are."

"Are you done singing now?" He demanded.

"Yeah." I said meekly.

"Very well-"

"TO THE BTN!"

VEV

"_I want chicken! I want liver! Meow Mix, Meow Mix, please deliver!_" I chanted for the four hunderth time.

"Shut up!" V finally lost his eloquent speech in favor of shutting me the hell up.

"Why?"

"You are highly annoying."

"And how doe-sh that make yoo feel?" I asked, imitating a very old (and very bad) therapist and storking my invisble beard.

"Like I want to strangle you."

"Hey. . .I just realized something! Therapist, the rapist. Scary thought, that."

V groaned and shoved open the door to. . ._Wait, this isn't the Jordan Tower._

"Uh, I think you've got the wrong place." I whispered to him.

A male nurse was paused, mid-step, in front of us pushing an old woman in a wheelchair. V started to back out the door when the woman saw him, sort of.

"Ooooooh! It's Elvis! I'm a hunk, a hunk a burnin' love for you Elivs!"

She attempted to get out of the chair, but was shoved back in by the nurse. I tried desperatly to keep from laughing while also trying to figure out how this woman knew who Elvis was.

"Have you come to sing for us, Elvis? Sing for us Elvis!"

The nurse tried to quiet her while V mumbled something.

"What was that Elvis?"

"_I'm just a hunk, a hunk of burning love." _V mumbled again.

* * *

**Some demented little part of me came up with the V singing part. What a genius that little part is. I nearly snorted the tea I was attempting to drink out my nose at that mental image. Since it's never right to assume, that's 'Burning Love' by Elvis Presley.  
I have a new fondness for that song now.**


	5. BTN And The Fat Metal Barbie

Somehow I managed to get V to let me come and made it there without him killing me. A major feat, to be sure. Once there, however, it didn't go quite so well. I could only restrain myself for so long. It started when V played his video via the station. I'd discovered his camera/recording room in a fit of boredom sometime between stumbling upon Evey and going to the BTN.

"Good evening, London. Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of every day routine- the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, thereby those important events of the past usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, a celebration of a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat. There are of course those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their pow-"

V kept talking, obviously, but I came right in on the sound. I must add that I had found a huge stash of chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen right before this.

"Buzz. Buzz. Kill Sutler. Buzz. Buzz. Go V. Buzz. Buzz. Wait, why am I killing Sutler? I don't know. Hmmmmm, perhaps he's gay. That would explain so much."

The sound of munching cookies could be heard for a little bit.

"Mmm these are excellent cookies. Holy crap Batman! V can cook. Imagine the public's reaction the the great terrorist Codename V having a cooking show."

"Yes, and now you add the dynamite to the pipe, no wait, wrong recipe." I said in as deep a voice I could. "Now you baste the turkey and place it in the oven. While that's cooking put on your mask and go picket outside Parliament. By the time you break out of jail and get home, you're turkey will be a lovely golden brown."

"Hmmm," I said in my normal voice. "I wonder if these are special cookies. That'd explain why I'm all hyper and stuff. Ooooo! What's this do?"

In my infinite clumsiness I picked up and dropped some piece of technology that looked expensive as hell.

"Uh-oh. RUN FOR IT! No, wait, all I need is some duct tape, super glue, and some rubber bands. He'll never know."

Whilst rummaging for said items I happened to notice a blinking red light on the control panel.

"Double uh-oh. Am I recording? Aw crap. V, I didn't mean to! Honest!" The sound of frantic button pushing could be heard. "Crap, what did I hit?"

"Lynette? What are you doing in there?" V said through the door.

"Um. Um. Um. Nothing! Hey, maybe this button is the right-"

"-remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words, they are perspectives. So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you then I would suggest you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot."

I laughed nervously and edged away from V.

"V, before you do anything. . .remember how much I love you. Please."

He motioned for me to leave and I gladly complied. I could use the time to 'prepare' myself for 'battle' later. By 'battle' I mean kill what's-their-faces that Evey maced in the movie. Save the mace, use a knife. If nothing else, it would get the point across. What point, you ask? I'm not quiet sure. But does that really matter?

I wandered aimlessly, waving to random people and sending the Fingermen in the wrong direction. I found Evey, locked her in a closet, then remembered she had to find V, and let her out again. I also gave her a crowbar to use instead of the mace before I sent her on her way. Much more effective. I 'liberated' multiple expensive looking things to do funny stuff with later and continued my wandering.

I found V and Evey in just enough time to see Evey swing the crowbar and slam the Fingerman across the head with it.

"Nice shot, Evey!"

I walked over to the Fingerman and grabbed his gun.

"Sorry Evey, this is necessary."

I swung the gun and hit her in the forehead with it, knocking her out. I grinned at the little 'v' shaped cut on her head.

"Well, V, time is cookies. Grab her, will you? I can't carry her and it absolutely necessary that she come with us. Just like it was absolutely necessary that she get the cut on her head. It's like a brand, ya know? It's a 'v', see? It marks her as yours. You two are meant for each other, ya are. The stupid script people just don't know it. But I'll make them know it, I will. Even if it means I have to beat them with a stick."

V was staring at me like I was nuts. Wonder. . .oh, wait. Crap! Ranting. I seriously need to starting thinking before I say something I shouldn't. V seemed afraid I'd beat him with a stick (which I wouldn't, of course) because he picked up Evey gently and headed out the door.

-one sleepy Evey and an authoress that's getting  
Evey's days in the SG confused in her head  
so she's skipping to the freaky  
sword fight between V  
and a suit of armor because  
she thinks it's funny and  
can't think of a way  
to make the breakfast part  
funny, later-

"Will you quit beating the crap out of Bob with a sword already?"

V stood up instantly out of the 'choke hold' Bob had him in.

"Bob?"

"Well. . .yeah. 'The suit of armor V beats the shit out of with a sword' is a bit long and so is 'V's fat metal friend'."

"Why Bob?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. Would you rather name it Fred?"

For once, the voice in my head had a brilliant idea.

_Hey!_

_Sorry, brilliant idea now._

_Oh, yeah. Name it Barbie!_

"V moment!"

I darted out of the room and into one of the warehouse-type things. I attacked the suit of armor and stepped back to marvel at my handy work. Bob was now wearing a pink ball gown and a blonde wig.

"Now it's Barbie!"

_Oh, god. Nice one!_

_Thank you, I thought so too._

I flopped back down on the couch and picked up Jane Eyre and continued my reading. After about three pages of not hearing V beating the crap out of Barbie, I looked over at him and fell off the couch laughing. He was staring dumbfounded at Barbie. Well, I can't say for sure he was dumbfounded considering I couldn't see his face, but by his body language I was pretty sure he was.

"V, continue your 'practice' as you claim it is."

I waited for V to really get back into fighting Barbie before going to poke Evey awake. I never saw how V fighting Barbie woke Evey up in the first place, she didn't ever seem to be a light sleeper in the rest of the movie. I always thought something else must have woken her up.

I poked Evey in the side and hid in the shadows. She slowly opened her eyes and looked around sleepily. Her eyes snapped open and she jerked upright as a particularly loud crash came from the main room.

"V!"

She jumped out of bed and ran out to the main room and stopped in the doorway staring at V. I stood just behind her and leaned forward to whisper in her ear.

"He looks good in those pants, no? The fact that they're tight shows off his gorgeous legs, doesn't it?"

I slipped past her as her cheeks flushed bright red and narrowly dodged Barbie's head as it flew through the air. I saw V drop his head in embarrassment from the corner of my eye when he saw Evey standing there.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"No," _Don't say I did, please. _"I was afraid you were fighting. . .for real."

Nice cover.

I walked into the movie room to make it look like I left before crouching next to the Wurlitzer and searching the thing over for a way to hook my iPod to it. There had to be a way, or so help me god I'd tear the thing apart and put the damn CD in there somehow. I had to make this moment sort of awkward, it was calling me. Yet, the song I had in mind wasn't totally awkward and V would possibly not kill me for it. Or, at least, I hoped he wouldn't.

As I began to wonder if there was a screwdriver nearby that I could get without being seen, I found what I was looking for. I'd been running my hand across the side and a small compartment had sprung open about half way up. V had obviously added the compartment himself and inside were multiple jacks to hook different music players to the Wurlitzer. I snapped my iPod onto the correct one and sifted through until I found the right song. _Now, to wait for the awkward silence that'll come. Oh, wait, I guess this is it._ Whoops, that took longer then I thought it would.

_Turn around,_  
_Turn around and fix your eye in my direction_  
_So there is a connection._  
_Now I can't speak,_  
_I can't make a sound to somehow capture your attention_  
_I'm staring at perfection._

_Take a look at me so you can see_  
_How beautiful you are._

He, he. Awkward turtle.  
_  
You call me a stranger, you say I'm a danger,  
But all these thoughts are leaving you tonight.  
I'm broken, abandoned; you are an angel  
Making all my dreams come true tonight._

_I'm confident,  
But I can't pretend I wasn't terrified to meet you.  
I knew you could see right through me  
I saw my life flash right before my very eyes  
And any chance what we turn into  
I was hoping that you could see_

_Take a look at me so you can see. . ._

_You call me a stranger, you say I'm a danger,  
But all these thoughts are leaving you tonight.  
I'm broken, abandoned; you are an angel  
Making all my dreams come true tonight._

_You are an angel  
Making all my dreams come true tonight._

_Take a look at me so you can see  
How beautiful you are. . ._

_Your beauty seems so far away  
I'd have to write a thousand songs  
To make you comprehend how beautiful you are.  
I know that I can't make you stay  
But I would give my final breath  
To make you understand how beautiful you are.  
Understand how beautiful you are._

_You call me a stranger, you say I'm a danger  
But all these thoughts are leaving you tonight.  
I'm broken, abandoned; you are an angel  
Making all my dreams come true tonight._

_You call me a stranger. . .  
You say I'm a danger. . .  
You call me a stranger. . ._

Awkward situations have always entertained me. I stood up and grinned at a very embarrassed V and Evey. V turned and I felt his glare.

"Are you quite finished?"

"Yep."


	6. The Obsession Begins To Show

"I wanted to ask if there was anything I could do to make it right, please let me know."

I jumped up from where I was sitting in the kitchen and into V's office of sorts.

"NOOOOO! Don't do it! It ends badly."

Evey looked over at me like I was nuts.

"What do you mean it ends badly? How in gods name would you know?"

"Um. . ." How to do this without sounding crazy? "it's difficult to explain."

V folded his hands in his lap and stared at me patiently.

"We've got time."

_Damn!_

_Well, your screwed._

_Shut up, you're not helping._

_Tell them you had a vision._

_Oh, yeah. That's sounds soooooo much saner then 'Oh, well, you see, there's this movie called V For Vendetta and it's about you two. So, you're both fictional characters and I'm trying to keep one of you alive so you two can hook up later like we all know you would have if V didn't die. I'm not crazy. I swear.'_

_. . .You've thought this through, haven't you?_

_What else is there to do at night?_

_Paint V's masks purple._

_Ooo! That's an idea for later._

_Hey, wait, V asked you something. Tune back in! Tune back in!_

"Did you say something V?"

"Lynette, explain what you meant."

_Crap. Stall for time._

"Hey, V, did you hear the one about band camp?"

"Lynette. . ."

"It goes 'One time, at band camp I stuck a-"

"I've heard it before."

I looked down at the rug cover the bare stone floor and chewed on my lip, trying to think of something to tell them. I absentmindedly twirled one of my short black curls while my brain worked double-time. _Think like V, think like V. That's it! Use V against himself._

"V, are you going to explain to Evey about the fire?"

He visibly stiffened and clutched the arms of his chair. I turned to Evey.

"What about you? Oh, how you will react when you learn some things! One always wants to know what one doesn't want to know once they know it."

I walked over and plopped myself down on V's knee, effectively freaking him out.

"And St. Mary's, that's a wonderful story! Come, come V. You _know_ she wants to know. She wants to know what you know; what you've done; how you were forced to help. She'll be thrilled you're killing them all. Hell, she'll probably call killing Sutler herself!"

I stood up and studied one of the multiple paintings hanging on the wall.

"How did that go again? Oh, yes. 'September the eighteenth. There is one case that continues to give me hope. He exhibits none of the immune-system pathologies the other subjects developed. I've discovered cellular anomalies in his blood that I've been unable to categorize. The mutations seem to have triggered the abnormal development of basic kinesthesia and reflexes. The subject said he could no longer remember who he was or where he was from. Whoever he was, he is now the key to our dream and the hope that all of this will not have been in vain.'

It was unbearably _stupid_ for them to give you a garden and access to a computer, wasn't it V? Fools. 'November the fifth. It started last night, around midnight. The first explosions tore open the entire medical section. All my work, gone. I was trying to understand how it happened when I saw him. The man from room five.' Nice touch, keeping the name 'five' I would've picked a new name, myself. Then again, you wouldn't be you if you'd picked a new name, would you V?"

I turned back to gaze at him with a small smile. If V had his knives, I know I'd have been dead before I finished the first sentence from the diary. Evey had disappeared, probably back into her room, and I don't doubt one bit that V had silently ordered her to leave. I settled myself at V's feet with my back ram-rod straight and my hands folded in front of me.

"So, Monsieur V, kill me now if you wish. Keep one thing in mind, I'm the only one who can help you get want you truly want."

"I don't need your help getting my revenge" He growled.

I cocked an eyebrow.

"That was not what I meant; I meant Evey. You don't understand now, but you will very soon." I stood and started toward the kitchen where I'd left my book. "Oh, and V, I guarantee there's one movie on the black-list you don't have. I'll show it to you sometime."

VEV

I stood in the kitchen, surrounded by hundreds of cakes, cookies, brownies, caramels, and other sweet treats with 'I Kissed A Girl' by Katy Perry playing in the background. I was considerate first, of course, and asked if Evey would mind the music; she was holed up in her room with a book and out of ear-shot of the Wurlitzer.

As I pulled my last tray of cookies out of the oven, I heard someone turn off the music.

"V! Turn my music back on, damn it!" I yelled as I sat the tray down to cool.

I felt his presence as he entered the room.

"How did you know?"

"Ah," I cried as I turned to him "the amazing V asks a question! I feel blessed. However," I began moving cookies that had already cooled onto a plate "I asked Evey earlier if she would mind the music. She answered in the negative."

He regarded me briefly.

"You like her, don't you?"

"There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve foot troll is one of them."I paused for a moment "So is living in the home of a slightly crazy terrorist that cooks in a flowery red apron, fights a suit of armor for fun, randomly quotes old novels and dead people, and has a thing for jazz music." I chuckled at myself "Oh, I make myself giggle!"

I watched V's retreating form as he headed off into some unknown part of the Shadow Gallery. I rolled my eyes as I distinctly heard him mutter "As she says I'm slightly crazy. At least I'm not talking about twelve foot trolls as if it's perfectly normal!"

I finished moving the cookies onto plates and started the dishes; it was the least I could do, after all. I mean, I had taken over V's kitchen and made quite a mess. I popped a bite of brownie in my mouth and took off in search of V where I knew I would find him and I knew I was not allowed.

Pushing open the normally-locked door to V's private section of the Shadow Gallery, I instantly felt the oh-so-familiar feeling of being where I was not wanted nor where I belonged.

"O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou, Romeo? Oh, geez V, come out already!"

Suddenly, V was before me as dark and imposing as ever. I had never before now thought that I could be afraid of him, but the time had arrived.

"Get out of here."

I stood up as straight as possible, achieving my full height of an un-impressive five feet two inches.

"I don't think, sir, that you have a right to command me, merely because you are older than I, or because you have seen more of the world than I have; your claim to superiority depends on the use you have made of your time and experience."

I had been around V too long, I was starting to quote like him. Staring into the blackness that hide his eyes, I swear I saw one of the eyebrows on the mask lift slightly.

"Impressive. Say what you, undoubtedly, came to say then get out."

I smirked. "I came to say I was cooking dinner tonight. No arguments, or I get to pick the movie of the night."

"Hmm, no. I like my Gallery and would rather not see it in pieces." he challenged.

"Bloody hell, V! In that case I am picking the movie and you will watch it. I'll duct tape you to the damn chair if necessary." I stomped back down the hall, determined to pick I movie he would hate. "Stupid questionably gay terrorist."

_Gay?_

_Hey, I haven't heard from you in ever!_

_That's because there was no reason for me to comment on anything until now. Speaking of which, way is V questionably gay?_

_Um, HELLO! Have you seen what he wears to cook and how picky he is when it comes to clothing? Hell, I'm a girl and don't care that much._

_You're also a tomboy._

_Oh. . .just. . .shut up._


	7. Vive Le Monty Python!

I attacked V's movie collection and looked, in vain, for the movie I wanted. Shocking as it was that V did not have it, I knew why: it was an unbearably stupid movie. That's why I love it! I set off into more unknown places in the Shadow Gallery as V emerged to begin cooking dinner.

VEV

"Um, Lynette? V said dinner's ready."

I climbed out of the box I had been digging in, my prize held high.

"I found it!"

Evey looked at me weird "Found what?"

"Nothing. . ." I said innocently and slipped the DVD into the waist band of my jeans, for hiding purposes only. I skipped out of the massive storeroom and in the general direction of the kitchen.

I sat down at the table and grinned appreciatively at the plate V sat in front of me. _I love lasagna!_ I started scarfing down the delicious food, but swallowed awkwardly as I saw both V and Evey staring at me.

"What?"

Evey shook her head and went back to eating daintily. I looked at V for an explanation.

"You eat like a pig."

I blinked slowly and stared at him like he was an idiot. "American." I said, pointing to myself with one hand and a fork, considering I was holding it in my right hand.

"That doesn't excuse it."

"Ok, correction. American band nerd." The instant I said it, I knew he wouldn't get it. "Percussionists, generally, eat enough food for three people each. I'm used to eating as fast as possible so I actually _get_ to eat."

He still didn't get it.

I sighed "I chalk it up to that fact that, assuming you were, you don't remember being in marching band in high school. . . . Actually, you were one of those percussionist pigs that ate everything, so never mind."

"Marching band?"

I groaned. "Never mind. Pretend I said nothing."

I started the movie after dinner and V instantly stood up.

"Well, I'm off. Ta!"

"No you don't!" I pushed him back into the chair and sat on his legs, holding him in place while I duct taped him to the chair. I stood up and surveyed my handy work.

"What in god's name did you do that for?"

I shrugged and sat back down. "I told you I would if you didn't cooperate."

V groaned. "But, I _hate _Monty Python and the Holy Grail!"

"Did you seriously just whine?" I shook my head to clear it "Anyway, keep talking and I will duct tape your mask-mouth."

"You realize I could still talk, right?" He said slowly

"I know. If you still talked I'd duct tape your real mouth."

VEV

Now that we had finished the movie (after V was turned into a giant duct tape ball because I got bored part way through the movie), I was on a sugar high from eating too many of my own sweets. I bounced into V's workshop as he threw something across the room.

"GAH!"

"What's wrong?"

V turned to look at me "I can't get it to work."

I walked over and looked down at some strange piece of futuristic technology that the authoress was too lazy to name, describe, or even think up what it would do.

"Hmm. It is definitely unfixable. Well, you know what they say. If you can't fix it, duct it!" I pulled out my roll of duct tape and pulled off a rather long piece.

"NOOOOO!"

V grabbed the thing and hid it behind him.

"Geez. You didn't need to yell."

The next time V and I crossed paths, he was horrified instead of angry. I was imitating Tom Cruise in Risky Business in one of V's shirts in the main room when he chose to water his scarlet carsons and walk right through there. V stopped abruptly and, guessing by his body language, his mouth was probably hanging open. I jumped in front of him and wielded the Egyptian stone carving thing that sat on top of the piano at him.

"Stand and deliver!"

V seemed to recover slightly. "Get out of my shirt."

I paused "Awkward."

"Pardon?"

I laughed at the fact that he didn't get it. "You just told me to take off your shirt that I am currently wearing. That would leave me in my bra and undies. So, no, I'll keep it on, thanks."

I swear, the mask even turned a little red-er. "Oh."

"I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries." I love the French Soldier, he makes me giggle.

After I put my clothes back on (and hid V's shirt for sniffing later; it smells really good) I followed V's voice to Evey's room. I'll admit, I was a little worried about what I would find even though I knew nothing bad was going to happen. I mean, after all, I'd only seen the movie a million times. Listening to their conversation, I realized it was about the whole Bishop fiasco.

_Crap._

_Came quicker than you thought it would, didn't it?_

_Yes._

_So, what are you going to do?_

_Well. . .it's pivotal. I can't interfere until later. Time to sit back and let the movie/comic/whatever run it's course. Even though it hurts me to do so, I must for the sake of importance._

_You already thought this through, didn't you?_

_Yeah. . .I haven't gotten around to painting V's masks._

_I can tell._

_Did you realize how weird it is that I talk to a voice inside my head?_

_. . .Stop thinking to me now._

I really need professional help.


	8. The Lark Hill Fiasco

"Why aren't you in this ridiculous thing, again?"

"I have an ass and you don't, now go!"

I shoved Evey into the church and went to wait for her escape. It depressed me that I had to do this. But, I had to let her be black-bagged by V and taken to 'Lark Hill' for the de-fearing. It was essential to the plot of the movie/comic. I would intervene at a certain point and try to do what I wanted and what I thought was necessary. It seemed I was becoming as determined as V and just as rash.

I planned and plotted as I waited; it seemed as if I was there for hours. Eventually, I heard Evey scramble out the window. I pulled the hood up on the black hoodie I wore under one of V's capes and followed behind her silently. I was amazed just how far Evey ran without being caught; Gordon's house had to have been at least two miles from the church.

I hid just inside Gordon's fence and watched Evey go up to the door. Gordon's eyes swept the street and yard, missing me, as he ushered her inside. I sighed. I _could_ go back to the Shadow Gallery, but I wouldn't. I could do no good there. Then again, I couldn't do any good here. I would rather follow Evey and occasionally check up on V then leave her alone. I really don't know how she survived on her own after the Lark Hill fiasco; she has no money, no friends, and no family. I felt it was my responsibility to protect her. Or, rather, protect her from everything but V.

I stirred from my place under the window sill as I heard Gordon and Evey laughing. It could only mean one thing; it was time. Time for one of the worst, yet best, thing V ever did. As soon as darkness fell, I moved into the shadows by the gate. I saw the black-bagging people charge into the house and a few minutes later saw Evey drop from the second story window.

_Damn, that had to hurt!_

I followed V as he carried a black-bagged Evey to his Lark Hill mockery. I was not going to enjoy this.

VEV

Evey was to be 'killed' in a half an hour and my curiosity got the better of me. I slipped the rolled up toilet paper-note into the rat hole and hoped Evey would take it; she did. I slipped the make-shift pencil into the hole and it, too, disappeared quickly. I waited patiently for the note to be replaced and pulled it out eagerly the instant Evey let go.

_Hullo? I feel like an idiot, writing to a possibly empty room. I'm just so afraid; I need to talk to someone._

Evey had replied to my ridiculous note. This note had a purpose, really it did.

_I'll be honest with you, it's terrifying here. I'm not so afraid anymore. Valerie helped me find my last inch. I'm Evey, by the way._

I jotted down a quick response and passed it back.

_Thank god, someone's there. I'm Kassi. What do you mean your last inch? I'd love to find mine, if it would take away the fear. I've only been here a couple days, I think. I don't know how you can be so calm._

I hoped I sounded afraid and like I didn't know exactly what she was talking about. I felt like I was passing notes in class instead of a prison as I pulled the paper out.

_I don't know how long I've been here. Like I said, I found my last inch. I found what is more important to me then my life._

Now we were getting somewhere!

_What is your last inch, then?_

Her response was so very simple and just what I hoped it would be.

_V._

_What's V?_

_Not what, who._

Duh, Evey. You could have explained.

_Ok, who's V? Wait, do you mean that Codename V guy? The terrorist?_

That sounded like something a Brit would say, I think.

_Yes._

Enough one-word answers, Evey.

_How is he your last inch?_

This response took longer.

_V is my dearest friend. Oh, bloody hell. I might as well say it, they're going to kill me in a few minutes anyway. V is more then my friend; I love him._

Jackpot!

_It's so strange, I know, to fall in love with a slightly crazy terrorist that held me hostage. I ca-_

Her message skipped a few lines, obviously not finishing her thought.

_Someone's coming. My time is up. Good-bye and good luck._

Or so you think, dear Evey.

VEV

"Oh, god, was that you I was writing to?"

I was waiting for that to dawn on her. I took a deep breath and stepped around the corner.

"That was me."

I forced my eyes to look up from the rug and wished I hadn't. Evey was looking at me with complete disbelief from by the lift; I knew she thought V had imprisoned me also. V was across the room and standing mere inches from me in a matter of seconds.

I put my head down and took the scolding and screaming I deserved.

"What the hell where you doing in there? How bloody long have you been here? You stupid, insolent girl!"

I stood there and took his rage without a murmur of protest. I knew I warranted it. I had interfered with what V was trying to do and without him any the wiser; I think that's what made him so angry.

When he was finished, I lifted my head and stared him right in the eyes; quite a feat considering I was five two and he was at least six feet. I could feel the tears burning in my eyes.

"You don't know. . .how hard it was for me. . .to let you do that. . ." I swallowed thickly. "To know what you were doing and know that. . .I could stop it, but let you do it anyway. I know exactly what you did to her. . .what was done to you. I lived in _your _cell. . .and I gave her. . .the comfort you didn't." I felt my tears spill over, but I didn't care. I let them run down my face unobstructed. "I suffered along with her. Not the same way, oh no, but I suffered just as much as she did. Do you know why I did, V, if I wasn't being tortured also?"

I stared at him for a long moment. "Because, I know what this has and will cost you V. Oh, yes. And you know what, V? I DON'T FREAKING CARE ANYMORE!" I took a step back from him in my anger. "Now I understand how she could _hate_ you. My god, _I_ hate you and I thought that was impossible! I didn't interfere with any of the Lark Hill fiasco because it is important. It is important to the plot; it is necessary to the story; _it had to be done_! For all I know, if I had stopped you, you all would have died or something! It would have fucked everything up!"

I fell to my knees and wove my fingers into my hair, holding my head. I slipped to the side so that I was sitting on my hip as I felt V draw near me.

"Touch me V," I said without looking up. "and I swear to God I will rip your arm off. That's not a threat. . .it's a promise."

I stood up slowly and walked toward Evey. I grabbed her wrist and yanked her into the lift behind me.

"Get in here V."

VEV

I watched Evey walk out of the Shadow Gallery and sighed deeply. I had to be here for V's breakdown, so I had slipped a GPS locator in Evey's bag. I followed V to the make-up room and watched as he took off his mask and threw it at the mirror. My heart squeezed painfully as I heard his first heart-retching sob.

I padded softly up behind him; he didn't seem to hear me. I bent down and kissed the top of his head softly.

"My poor V." I murmured and walked out into the cold underground of London.

Finding Evey was surprisingly harder than I thought it would be. You know, considering I had placed a tracking device on her. After trying - nearly unsuccessfully - to navigate London for almost an hour, I finally found Evey. She was standing in the alley where she and V first met, staring at the archway he had appeared in. I watched as she walked over and laid a hand on the poster V had slashed.

I was nearly in tears as I followed her to what I assumed was her apartment. I waited until she wass sound asleep before heading back to the Shadow Gallery.


	9. Now There's Two

I stood by the piano, at a total loss for what to do. V emerged from one of the few rooms he had managed to keep me out of and handed me a small leather-bound book.

"I believe you will like this."

I looked at the book and instantly threw it across the room. I hissed and made a cross with my fingers toward it.

"Get that thing away from me!"

V started and looked toward the innocent-looking novel laying on the floor, near the kitchen.

"What on earth is wrong with Fahrenheit 451?"

"They burn books!" I wailed. I started rocking back and forth, holding my head. "Keturah and Lord Death. Keturah and Lord Death. Keturah and Lord Death. KETURAH AND LORD DEATH, DAMN IT!" I sighed. "I'm sorry, V. I had to read that. . ._thing_ in English and hated it. It was all 'Oh, we hate books! Let's go read some books then burn them!' it was horrible." I started toward Evey's room to go book-digging.

"Where are you going?"

Does it matter?

"Evey's room. I need one of my handsome men in all black." I said, walking away from him "Well, correction, I need Lord Death. Seeing as you're another one of my handsome men in all black and you're right here, I figured I'd go get Lord-y and make you watch Phantom of the Opera with me while I read my book. Then, you know, I'd have all three."

"What book is he from?"

I turned slowly to face V. "Keturah and _Lord Death_. Duh."

"I don't believe I have that particular novel."

Did he. . .just say. . .?

"WHAT? How can you not have Keturah and Lord Death? It's only _the_ best book ever. You have to have it somewhere. It's by Martine Leavitt and only about 220 pages." V still stood there, apparently not having the slightest idea what I was talking about. "Argh! I will find it."

I didn't have a chance to go digging for it, however; the singing coming from the kitchen rooted me to the spot.

"_Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?_"

I know that singing.

"AHHHHH! THIS ISN'T MY SHOWER! SOS! MAYDAY! CDQ! I NEED A TOWEL!"

I took a step toward the kitchen "Jaylyn?"

There was a pause. "Grandma?"

I sighed. It was Jaylyn.

"Guess again."

"Colonel Sanders?"

"Jaylyn, get out here."

Jaylyn stuck her head around the corner, not caring that her wet waist length raven-black hair was dripping all over the floor.

"Lynette, I-WHOA!" She caught sight of V and pulled back into the kitchen. "Towel, please."

I disappeared into the bathroom, grabbed a towel, and tossed it to Jaylyn. She came out a minute later, fully wrapped in the towel; I don't doubt that had she not seen V, she would have just walked out. She's open like that.

"Oh, god." V groaned "Not another one."

"V, be afraid. Jaylyn is worse than me. So much worse."

V went into his private area of the SG, leaving Jaylyn and I alone.

"Well, I'll need some clothes and considering I'm in the Shadow Gallery I doubt I'll find any."

I rolled my eyes "You say that as if it's normal."

"It isn't? Ah, well then, I believe we have a pro-AHHHH!"

Three huge duffle bags fell out of the air and landed on Jaylyn's head. This could only mean one thing; the authoress was hyper. She only gave me things when she was.

"Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukah! Do funny things now and entertain me."

Jaylyn rubbed her head and looked toward the ceiling.

"I assume you're the authoress?"

"No. I'm the Easter Bunny." the voice said "Of course I am, you twit!"

"No need to be rude."

"If you want me to be rude, I will."

"Oh, shut up and let me talk!"

"Now who's being rude?"

"Retard."

"Idiot."

"Authoress."

"Character."

"Will you stop with the insults already?" Honestly, Jaylyn was arguing with a disembodied voice. "Now, authoress, you included clothes in those monster bags, right?"

"Er. . ."

Jaylyn's eyes narrowed. "You didn't. . ."

"I FORGOT!" Another bag dropped out of the air and barely missed Jaylyn.

"Are you done dropping things on my head?"

"Maybe. . ."

VEV

I burst out laughing half way through doing the Macarena with Jaylyn. I had just had the funniest image come to mind and could hardly stand because I was laughing so hard.

"What's so funny?"

"Image." I gasped between laughs "V. . .doing MC Hammer shuffle. . .singing 'Can't Touch This'. . .after killing Sutler. . ."

I gave up trying to stay vertical and collapsed on the rug laughing; it was just so damn funny! V, apparently roused by our laughing, appeared in the doorway. Jaylyn and I looked over at him and burst out laughing. He cocked his head to the side, obviously wondering if we were high. We manage to stop laughing and stared right back at him. No one made a sound. I swear, you could've heard a pin drop.

"Can't touch this."

VEV

Jaylyn groaned and slammed her head down on the kitchen table while I sat drinking my apple juice.

"Honestly, why in god's name are you _doing _that? You are living in the Shadow Gallery, a bagillion years after that was due, and stressing over it. I really don't get you."

"Because," She said, looking up at me "it's the last write-up of the year. I _need_ that last sixty points. Plus, you've only been gone about two hours back home and here it's been _way_ longer than that. This is due in a week. Do you realize how long that is here? I have plenty of time to do it, plus, HELLO! We are living with a genius, albeit a slightly coo-coo one."

I sat down my empty juice cup, feeling like a small child holding the large glass.

"Exactly, Jaylyn, we're living with _V_, the slightly crazy terrorist in a flowery red apron that fights suits of armor and is loved by millions!"

"Millions?" She interrupted.

"Ok, so hundreds." I allowed. "But, still. . ."

V swept into the room dramatically, distracting me from what I had been saying. He began making dinner and I realized how theatrical he was. It made me wonder if he was an actor at one point in his life. What? With V, anything was possible.

"Heeeeeeey, V?" Jaylyn called sweetly to him.

"Yes?" He asked guardedly. I think he knew something was up.

"You know, I've got this big Chemistry lab write-up due and I just can't get it done. I don't understand half of it. Would you help me?"

"If by help, you mean do it for you, then, no."

I burst out laughing as her face fell; the difference was comical. She went from a little kid with six dozen cookies to a little kid that was just told they couldn't open their Christmas presents on Christmas morning.

"I coulda told ya that would happen. Did you honestly think V was that stupid? You don't just spring it on him, you get him high _then_ spring it on him. Speaking of which," I turned to V so I wouldn't be craning my neck to see him. "V, did you open that gift I gave you?"

VEV

I tickled the underside of my nose with a big feather quill while V tired, unsuccessfully, to explain electroplating to Jaylyn. Ok, so, actually it wasn't a quill; I'd found a big feather and glued a pen to it.

I truly don't understand why V was trying help Jaylyn, he had to know it was a lost cause. I mean, seriously, this was the girl that didn't know that money did _not_, in fact, grow on trees. You think I'm being sarcastic, don't you? I'm not. I'm dead serious. No, scratch that, I'm I-,V,-killed-people-Evey-and-I'm-not-gonna-lie-to-you-because-I-think-you're-hot-and-have-a-thing-for-you serious.

"Jaylyn," V said wearily for the umpteenth time. "electroplating and electrolysis aren't the same thing. Electroplating is a plating process that uses electrical current to reduce cations of a desired material from a solution and coat a conductive object with a thin layer of the material, such as a metal. Electroplating is primarily used for depositing a layer of material - generally chromium to a combustion ampere of at least 563 volt - to bestow a desired property to a surface that otherwise lacks that property. Whereas electrolysis is the passage of an electric current through an ionic substance that is either molten or dissolved in a suitable solvent, resulting in chemical reactions at the electrodes and separation of materials."

Ok, so I knew what he was explaining, but he still confused the hell out of me. Judging by the fact that Jaylyn was staring at him as if he'd sprouted a second head, I'm guessing she was confused also.

"Um, V, you _sure_ you weren't a teacher of some sort before Lark Hill?" I asked tentively.

"Or were you another freakin Einstein in a past life?" Jaylyn added.

V sighed heavily and tried again. "Electroplating is spontaneously transferring something - usually metal - from one object to another. Electrolysis is purposely doing the same this as electorplating."

"Oh. . ." Jaylyn said after a moment.

"You still aren't understanding me, are you, Jaylyn?"

"You lost me at 'electroplating', V." She said instantly.

"Oddly," a voice boomed from over head that could only be the authoress "that helped me millions. See, I'm doing the exact same write-up as Jaylyn, and, well, I don't wanna. I is procrastinating by writing."

"No, you?" I said sarcastically "And it's just a _huge_ co-winky-dink that Jaylyn has the _exact_ same one."

"As V says, 'I, like God, do not play with dice and do not believe in coincidence.' Take what you want from that."

"Oh. . .go away! You're really annoying."

"Thank you, I try!"

VEV

"Did you know, Evey, that I took text messaging for granted and as a simple thing until five seconds ago?" I said, walking into her living room carrying a bag of artificial popcorn. "They fake everything, don't they?" I asked, indicating the bag of popcorn.

"Um, yeah, I guess so." she said uncertainly "Why are you here? I thought you wouldn't leave. . .him?"

My eyebrows rose "My dear, you comprehend so little yet so much. I _don't_ leave V because I have no where to go. I _do_, however, on rare occasion, follow you."

"I knew it!" she exploded "He won't let me go! He won't leave me alone!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I put my hands up as if in surrender "Slow down, chipmunk! He does _not_, in fact, know where I go on the rare occasion that I leave. Trust me, he wants nothing more than for Jaylyn and I to leave you alone."

"Jaylyn?" She interrupted.

"A friend from my time" I said off-handedly. Her face reminded me that she didn't know about the whole oh-I'm-from-about-fifty-years-ago issue. Oops. "Anywhos, he doesn't think we should interfere, although Jaylyn and I have plans in motion that cannot be stopped. Whether they will work, however, is yet to be determined. Long story short. . .er." I paused for a moment to pop a piece of popcorn in my mouth "Uh. . .what was I saying? Oh, yes, Jaylyn and I believe it our duty to watch over you and protect you, somewhat."

Evey sat staring at me as if I was completely nuts. Maybe I was. That wasn't the real issue here, more so, it was a minor detail that could be ignored.

"Um, thanks?"

"Evey, have you ever heard of Secondhand Serenade?" I asked, gazing at her computer.

"No. . ."

"Hmm," I said, walking over and plugging my iPod into the computer with the cord I conveniently and for some reason had in my pocket. "They sang that song I played in the Shadow Gallery when you came across V fighting the suit of armor. This is a different song, still awesome though."

I double clicked the song "Suppose" in the Secondhand Serenade folder to play it.

_Suppose that I missed you  
Suppose that I care  
And suppose that spent all my nights running scared  
And suppose  
That I was never there_

_And my eyes are screaming for a sight of you  
And tonight I'm dreaming of all the things that we've been through  
And I can't hold on to you  
So I guess I'll be lonely too_

_Suppose we were happy  
Suppose it was true  
And suppose there were cold nights  
But we somehow made it through  
And suppose that I'm nothing without you_

_My eyes I'm screaming for a sight of you  
And tonight I'm dreaming of all the things that we've been through  
And I can't hold on to you  
So I guess I'll be lonely too_

_Slow way down  
This break down's eating me alive  
And I'm tired  
This fight is fighting to survive_

_Tell me a secret (I want it)  
Tell me a story (I need it)  
I'll listen intensively  
I'll stay awake all night  
All of me is a whisper (So don't leave)  
There's nothing left in me (Please help me)  
Not even my body is strong enough to fight (Let's make this right)  
Please help me make this right_

_Suppose that I was wrong  
Suppose you were here  
And suppose that I reached out and caught your tears  
And suppose this fight just disappeared_

_And my eyes are screaming for a sight of you  
And tonight I'm dreaming of all the things that we've been through  
And I can't hold on to you  
So I guess I'll be lonely too  
But I'd rather be here with you_

The song drifted to a close and I stared wistfully out the window, thinking.

"Was there any point to that load of rubbish?" Evey said, breaking me from my thoughts.

"You didn't like it then, I take it?" I said, turning my head toward her.

"You seriously need to get out more."

I started. "Why do you say that?"

"You act like_ him_ and, if you're gonna like 'em, you can get out."

"Someone's a bit grouchy." I muttered under my breath, then said louder "How do I act like him?"

"Well, look at cha, for one."

I glanced down at myself and realized with a slight sadness that she was right. I was currently standing with my feet apart, my back ram-rod straight, and my hands clasped behind me. My god, I_ do_ need to get out more. Then again, acting like V could be a good thing.

"Oh. I see you're point." I deliberately slumped into more of an American posture "Every, question, would you care to join Jaylyn and I for a movie this evening?"

"Let me guess," she narrowed her eyes "it would be in his home, wouldn't it?"

"Um. . ."

She thought for a moment, then surprised the hell out of me.

"Alright."


	10. What Color Are YOUR Underwear?

"What the bloody hell are you doing?"

I stopped with my hand halfway up the inside of Evey's inner thigh. On reflection, that sounds really wrong.

"Uh. . .making sure you're not carrying anything that could, you know, hurt people."

"If I was," she said flatly "I would tell you."

Somehow, I didn't doubt that. I removed my hand and opened the hidden entrance to the Shadow Gallery.

"Oh, V! Look who's here!" I called into the darkness.

"JAYLYN! TURN THE BLOODY LIGHTS BACK ON! HOW THE HELL DID YOU MANAGE TO TURN THEM OFF IN THE FIRST PLACE?" V shouted from somewhere near the kitchen.

"WON'T TILL YOU TELL ME!" Jaylyn half sang back from across the Shadow Gallery.

"What the hell?" I said into the silence.

"HE WON'T TELL ME IF HE WEARS BOXERS OR BREIFS!"

"THAT'S PRIVATE INFORMATION!"

"Well, I've always thought he was a boxers kind of guy, myself."

"OH GOD, NOT YOU TOO!"

"Come on V, tell us." I really wanted to know. Sheer morbid curiosity, I guess.

"FINE. I WEAR BOXERS."

The entire Shadow Gallery rang in a stunned silence.

"WHAT COLOR?" Jaylyn yelled, breaking the silence.

"FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"

"Hello?" Evey said tentively into the silence.

"OMG! IT'S FOUR!" Jaylyn squeed.

The lights blinked on overhead and I squeezed my eyes shut at the sudden brightness. Jaylyn skipped merrily from the Larkhill mock-up and straight to Evey.

"Four! It's wonderful to be able to talk to you for once!"

"Don't you talk to her when she's asleep, anyway?" I asked.

"Oh, hush." She waved the comment away with her hand. "That doesn't count. She can't hear me then, can you Four?"

"Um," Evey said uncertainly "why are you calling me 'four'?"

I steered her into the movie room. "It's a long story."

"No it isn't!" Jaylyn argued, following us. "E-V is how you pronounce I-V, as in four in roman numerals. See? 'S not so long."

I sighed. "But it was unnecessary. Where's V, anyway?"

"Kitchen." Jaylyn said off-handedly.

The sound of a heavy steel door slamming shut could be heard just after Jaylyn spoke.

"Correction." I said. "He's in Larkhill."

I made my way down the industrial hallway, opening every door I came to. I finally came to his old cell, and threw open the door to find V sitting in the corner, hugging his knees to his chest.

_Oh, V. . ._ I thought as I moved toward him. He looked up at me slowly, as if dazed. I knelt down next to him and tentively reached out to rest my hand on the top of his knee.

"She came back."

"Yeah, V." I smiled wistfully "Evey came back just for you."

"No. . .you told her I was gone, didn't you?" Poor bloke seemed to be looking for any excuse to hurt himself more. "Or did she not know where she was coming?"

"V!" I chided gently. "Evey knew where she was coming and that you were here. She willingly came anyway. I think she came _because_ of you."

He looked up hopefully from the floor. "Really?"

"Yeah. . ." Poor V. He really doesn't think anyone could care about him, let alone love him. Jaylyn and I were trying to change that, but he would have to help us if we were going to succeed. "Why don't you come out and watch a movie with us?"

V stood with cat-like grace and followed me toward the movie room. Halfway there, however, we were assaulted by Jaylyn singing.

_"If you were gay  
that'd be okay.  
I mean 'cause', hey,  
I'd like you anyway.  
Because you see,  
if it were me,  
I would feel free  
to say that I was gay  
(But I'm not gay.)"_

Ah, Avenue Q.

VEV

"LYNETTE! PIZZA ROLLS ARE DONE!" Jaylyn walked into the room, carrying a plate of V's worst enemy: frozen, microwave food. Dun, dun, duhhh!

"Sweet!" I said, grabbing one and popping it in my mouth.

"Eh, Vic-ter?" Jaylyn said, imitating Thomas from Smoke Signals

"Ya, Thomas?" I said, pitching my voice low for Victor.

"Guess what?"

"What?" I asked, even though I had an idea where this was going.

"JONH WAYNE'S TEETH!  
Hey, yah!  
JOHN WAYNE'S TEETH!  
Hey, yah! Hey, yah. Hey, yah. Hey.  
JONH WAYNE'S TEETH!  
Hey, yah!  
JOHN WAYNE'S TEETH!  
Hey, yah. Hey, yah. Hey.  
Are they false?  
Are they real?  
Are they plastic?  
Are they steel?  
Hey, yah. Hey, yah. Hey.  
JOHN WAYNE'S TEETH. . ."

V and Evey stared at Jaylyn like she was nuts. Which, on reflection, was probably very true.

"What are you-" Jaylyn started to say, before the authoress cut her off.

"Ok, shut up now. Time to end the chapter."

"But. . .it only just started." I argued.

"Don't care. Can't think of anything to do. So. . .Ba-dada-de! Ba-dada-do! Ba-dada-de! Hello, new chappie!"


	11. The Fifth: Part I

**On a random note, I had a wonderful discussion with LadyNightlord over what V's underwear look like. We've come up with some fairly out there things. XD**

* * *

"DIE! DIE! DIE! WHY WON'T YOU DIE?"

Jaylyn seemed utterly frustrated that the soldier she had been shooting for five minutes wouldn't die, if you couldn't tell. She'd come across a Playstation 2 somewhere in the farthest realms of the Shadow Gallery and didn't hesitate to hook it up to the TV.

"Scream a little louder, Jaylyn, I don't think he heard you." I said while giving up and putting in earplugs.

"Shut up!" She screeched at me as she continued her assault on the visual enemy "DIE, CREEDY, DIE! DIE YOU MO-FO!"

I can't explain what was going on in that mind of hers other then she had been naming all the enemies after people V wanted dead. I suppose it added something to the thrill of killing them.

"YESSSS! EAT THAT CREED-NO! NOT SUTLER, TOO!" She screamed as another enemy walked into the virtual room right after she had killed 'Creedy' "DIE YOU HYPOCRITICAL, GAY, BASTARD! THAT'S FOR LARK HILL, AND THAT'S FOR PISSING ME OFF, AND THAT'S FOR BEING AN ASSHOLE, AND-NOOOOOOOOO!"

I stared at the screen in disbelief. I had sat here and listened to her scream for nothing; they'd blown her up with a bomb. I didn't regret locking Evey in her room with my iPod at this point, I could tell by the murderous look in Jaylyn's eyes that she was going to start over. _Ah, crap._

I started to protest when she hit 'Try Again', but she turned the volume on max and ignored me. Retreating into the main room and hiding by the door, I decided to wait it out until she was done or V got home, whichever came first. Mercifully, V got home within minutes of my retreat.

"DIE YOU BLOODY FINGERMAN! YOU S.O.B., MO-FO, A-HOLE! DIE, DIE, DIE, _DIE_!"

V's head snapped toward the TV room as he heard Jaylyn's shouting and the gunshots.

"NOW IT'S YOUR TURN, CREEDY!" Simulated gunshots rang through the air as V rushed in.

Jaylyn laughed evilly as 'Creedy' fell dead. V yanked the power cord out of the wall, fuming; I could almost see the smoke coming from his ears.

"What are you doing?"

"You. Just. Cost. Me. Two. Hours. Of. Work." She said through her teeth.

"Do you think I care?"

"Now, V," I said gently. "she was just having some fun."

"THAT TOOK ME TWO HOURS, YOU JERK!" Jaylyn yelled at V.

"Jaylyn! You probably scared him half to death, have some consideration."

My statements fell on deaf ears.

"OH, YOU POOR THING. GET OVER IT!" V shouted back.

"Don't worry, be happy." I sang, trying to lighten the mood.

"SHUT UP!" They both yelled at me simultaneously.

Tears welled up in my eyes and I let them fall. I could take Jaylyn yelling at me, but V. . .that was a different story. V was my hero, I was crushed and hurt in the same way a little boy would idolized Superman would be after he'd been yelled at by his idol.

I couldn't run into my room crying because I didn't have one-Jaylyn and I slept in the living room every night- so I did the next best thing. I ran into V's room, slamming the door shut, and buried my face in his pillows. I could threaten them with V's extra knives, but that wouldn't work so well in my favor considering v had his normal set of knives on him. I sat up and gazed around the room, not really seeing anything because I hadn't bothered to turn on the light when I came in.

VEV

V entered the room a few hours later, not noticing I was sitting on his bed, leaned back against the headboard. I couldn't really see anything, but I could visualize each thing as he did them. I heard him set his mask on the dressing table, the soft swish of his wig as he took it off, the dull thud as he sat down his knife belt somewhere nearby.

I felt the bed shift as he slid under the covers beside me, never noticing or sensing that someone else was in it also.

"Kind of annoying thinking you're alone and discovering, much to your surprise, someone is watching you from the shadows, isn't it?" I whispered in his general direction.

I felt the pressure of V's knife on my throat almost instantly.

"Ah," I croaked. "it's about time you notice me, V."

"Give me a reason I shouldn't kill you right now."

"I can't see a bloody thing." I stated matter-of-factly "If you'd wanted me dead, you would have killed me long ago anyway."

"Good point." He admitted softly.

_Yeah, I usually have those. _I thought as I slid down the headboard and buried my face in the pillow. No matter what V said or did, he wasn't going to get me out of this room right now; I was too damn tired to move.

"Goodnight V." I murmured.

I could feel by the way V tensed that his thoughts were somewhere along the line of 'Oh hells to the no. You are not sleepin in ma bed.' I hoped he could tell my thoughts were along the line of 'Oh hells to the yes I is. I ain't getting outta dis bed, iz comfy. . .'

"Lynette, you cannot stay here."

I ignored him, pretending to already be asleep. Or maybe I was half-asleep, there was certainly one vote for that considering I couldn't seem to make myself move.

I woke up the next morning stretched out on the couch. I was sick to my stomach when the date dawned on me. _November 5th. . .oh, god._

V was already up and about, of course. He was a terrorist with a building to blow up he couldn't be expected to lounge around in his bunny slippers. I attempted to make breakfast for Evey, Jaylyn, and I but no one really ate. My cooking wasn't that great, but I assumed it was nerves that kept everyone from eating; no one could turn down a hot and fluffy waffle.

Everyone was on edge through-out the day. Jaylyn and I both realized we had failed; V and Evey were still blissfully unaware that the other loved them. Stupid idiots. Sometimes I really just wanted to smack them. Speaking of which. . .

VEV

I sat perched in the shadows, waiting.

The dark shadow rounded the corner and walked slowly in my direction. I tensed. _Just a little farther. _My unsuspecting target moved into my range.

"HOMICIDAL PSYCHO JUNGLE CAT!" I screamed as I launched myself at V.

"AHHH!" He screamed as he fell to the floor.

I laid on top of him, laughing to hard to move. I couldn't believe that I had surprised V, the ultimate terrorist. The thought made no sense what-so-ever, yet it worked somehow.

"That was fun! Let's do it again!"

"Get off me."

I pouted. "Spoil sport."

I did as ordered, for once, and reflected that it was a schock I had even managed to jump V without ending up dead. He must be distracted, _very _distracted.

_Well of course he is, you twit._

_You know, for a part of me, you're really mean._

_All I meant was: it's the Fifth, what did you expect? Him to be skipping about in a dress singing show tunes?_

Actually, that mental image was rather funny. V and Evey slipped out into the tunnels and I signaled to Jaylyn to grab our stuff. It was time.


	12. The Fifth: Part II

"Hold it right there." I heard Finch say from my hiding place.

"No." Every replied. I was proud of her in that one moment.

I stepped from the shadows, not caring that tears were rolling down my cheeks.

"Inspector Finch? I think you'll be leaving now."

His eyes widened as he spotted me and the steel glinting in the light at my side. He swallowed thickly and leveled the gun at my head.

"Who are you? What do you want?"

"'Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and _what_ I am is a man in a mask.'" I quoted wistfully.

"You're not a man and you're not in a mask. . ." Finch said confusedly.

"'Your powers of observation serve you well.'" I quoted again. "Leave us be. Please."

He lowered his gun as he spotted V.

"That's the terrorist!"

"No, inspector, that's V." I whispered.

Finch made a move to touch him, but Jaylyn's knife at his throat stopped him instantly.

"Don't touch him." She said menacingly. "To you, he's a terrorist. To us, he's a wonderful man. Lively, considerate, passionate, quick with a joke when needed, quirky, entertaining, and good natured. He's a beautiful man with a good heart and the people's best interests in mind who deserves respect. You will respect him, if only this once. Now I repeat myself, don't touch V."

She removed the blade for Finch's throat slowly as Evey pulled the lever to send V and his final act toward parliament.

I'd known it would happen all along. No matter what I've done while I was here, the ending was the same. As much as I wished the opposite, the ending had proven true. I wanted to cry, cry so very hard. I didn't, though, because I knew that wasn't what V would want. He would want strength; he would want his vendetta finished and Evey knew it. I had purposely never added a song to his final fireworks, just in case, although I already knew which one I wanted. I had synced it while Evey and Jaylyn put V on the train.

Evey had thought Jaylyn and I were in black so we wouldn't be caught by the Fingermen, but in truth we knew this would happen. We came in mourning and were dressed like V as a final tribute to him. Well, I suppose the song I had added was the true last tribute, but I wasn't counting it. We stood with Inspector Finch on the roof, watching Parliament blow up in a sea of fireworks.

_Was a long and dark December  
From the rooftops I remember  
There was snow  
White snow_

_Clearly I remember  
From the windows they were watching  
While we froze down below_

_When the future's architectured  
By a carnival of idiots on show  
You'd better lie low_

_If you love me  
Won't you let me know?_

"I love you, V." I whispered.

_Was a long and dark December  
When the banks became cathedrals  
And the fog  
Became God_

_Priests clutched onto bibles  
Hollowed out to fit their rifles  
And the cross was held aloft_

_Bury me in honor  
When I'm dead and hit the ground  
My nerves are poles that unfroze_

_If you love me  
Won't you let me know?_

"I love you, V." Jaylyn whispered.

_I don't want to be a soldier  
Who the captain of some sinking ship  
Would stow  
Far below_

_So if you love me  
Why'd you let me go?  
_

"I love you, V. I didn't want to let you go. . ." Evey whispered brokenly.

_I took my love down to violet hill  
There we sat in the snow  
All that time  
She was silent still_

_So if you love me  
Won't you let me know?  
If you love me  
Won't you let me know?_

No one said a word; the silence spoke volumes. We'd had the chance to tell him, and, in the end, we hadn't.  
Jaylyn and I had nothing more to keep us here, but the question was where to go. We had done everything we could to change fate and we had failed; there was nothing to keep us here, but nothing to pull us home. Well, I suppose I should say, our old homes. The Shadow Gallery felt more like home now then the houses awaiting us back in Indiana.

I briefly considered moving somewhere in the city, but dismissed the thought almost instantly. I could never live in London if I wasn't in V's home. That was it then; I would stay in the Shadow Gallery and maybe, just maybe, I would help Evey continue V's mission. If she wouldn't continue it herself, I would do it alone. V might have blown up Parliament and freed England from Norsefire, but there was still much left to do.

Unlike Jaylyn, I understood why V had allowed himself to die when he did. He had no right to shape the new England, he barely even had the right to do what he did. The only way he could claim the right was the fact that he alone knew who was responsible and was free to change it.


End file.
